Ever Wonder?

• Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish sandwich and I realize, Oh my God...I could be eating a slow learner!"- Lynda Montgomery
• "If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead."- Johnny Carson
• "Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography."- Paul Rodriguez
• And from George Carlin...If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
• If a no-armed man has a gun, is he armed?
• If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?
• If you put a slinky on an escalator, would it go forever?
• If all babies are cute why are there so many ugly people in the world?
• What's another word for thesaurus?
• Why do they have Braille number pads at drive-through bank machines?
• Is it ok to go door-to-door selling "No Soliciting" signs?
• Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
• If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
• If talk is cheap, why is my mobile phone bill so high?
• Should bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid?
• Did the early settlers ever go on camping trips?
• How can a person get a life sentence & be eligible for parole in 15 years?

Whale Rx

Q: What do whales take to stay healthy?
A: Vitamin Sea

Skin Tight

A guy walks into a bar and sits down next to an extremely gorgeous woman. The first thing he notices about her though, are her pants. They were skin-tight, high-waisted and had no obvious mechanism (zipper, buttons or velcro) for opening them. After several minutes of puzzling over how she got the pants up over her hips, he finally worked up the nerve to ask her. "Excuse me miss, but how do you get into your pants?" "Well," she replied, "you can start by buying me a drink."