Blonde's Laundry Help

A brunette doing laundry asked her blonde friend to help her find a match for her sock. The blonde asked, "Are you going to set it on fire?"

Dumped By A Midget

Q: Why was the guy so downhearted after his midget girlfriend dumped him?
A: Because he was nuts over her.

Five Minutes To Midnight

A cop drives up to lovers lane and sees a car there. So he walks up to the car, and there's a girl in the back seat knitting and a boy in the front seat reading a book. The cop asks the boy how old he is and what he's doing. The boy answers, "I'm reading a book and I'm 20." Then the cop asks what the girl's doing and how old she is. The boy replies, "She's knitting and she'll be 18 in about five minutes."