Girl Scout Troop Leader

A Girl Scout troop leader suddenly came upon a clearing where a young couple was engaged in oral sex. "Back ladies, back!" cried the leader. "There's a very dangerous beast out there!" But it was too late, as several of her girls had more-or-less seen the deed happening. They asked their leader what it was the couple was doing. "Well, err.... if you must know, uh, they were practicing a brand new form of artificial respiration... yeah, that's it, it's artificial respiration!" "WOW!" exclaimed the oldest of the group. "I know which merit badge I'm gonna try for next!"

MJ Nose

Q: How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
A: From a catalog.

Murphy's Laws

• Never slap a man who chews tobacco.
• There are many many more asses in the world than donkeys.
• Wooden legs are not hereditary, wooden heads are.
• Free cheese is always in a mouse trap.
• An ugly carpet will last forever.