Library Chickens

A pair of chickens walk up to the circulation desk at a public library and say, "Buk Buk BUK."
The librarian decides that the chickens desire three books, so she gives them three books, and the chickens leave shortly thereafter.
Around midday, the two chickens return to the circulation desk quite vexed and say,"Buk Buk BuKKOOK!"
The librarian decides that the chickens desire another three books and gives the books to them. The chickens leave as before.
The two chickens return to the library in the early afternoon, approach the librarian, looking very annoyed and say, "Buk Buk Buk Buk Bukkooook!"
The librarian is now a little suspicious of these chickens. She gives them what they request, and decides to follow them. She followed them out of the library, out of the town, and down to a park. At this point, she hid behind a tree, not wanting to be seen. She saw the two chickens throwing the books at a frog in a pond, to which the frog was saying, "Rrredit....Rrredit....Rrredit...."

Redneck Family Tree

You know you're a redneck when your family tree is a wreath.

Texting Trouble

A man received text message from his neighbor:
"Sorry sir, I am using your wife, day and night when you aren't home. I'm confessing this to you because I feel very guilty. I hope you will accept my sincere apology".
The man was so angry he killed his wife.
A few minutes later he received another text message :
"Damn auto correct! Sorry sir, spelling mistake, wi fi - not wife".