Headline: Burger King buys Tim Hortons

What's next Burger King, Canada's Parliament Hill? Sounds about right, because so many “ whoppers" are sold to Canadians from there!

The Plan

"First," said the playboy, "I'm going to buy you a few drinks and get you a bit loose." "Oh no you're not," said the girl. "Then I'll take you to dinner and ply you with a few more drinks." "Oh no you're not." "Then I'll take you to my place and keep serving you drinks." "Oh no you're not." "Then I'm going to make violent, passionate love to you." "Oh no you're not." "And I'm not going to wear a condom either!" said the guy ."Oh yes you are!" said the girl.

Redneck Girlfriend

You might be a redneck when you say ho-down and your girlfriend hits the ground.