Gross Grosser Grossest

Q: What's grosser than gross?
A: Two vampires fighting over a bloody tampon.
Q: What's grosser than that?
A: Finding a used condom on the bottom of a mayonnaise jar.
Q: What's grosser than that?
A: When you open the refrigerator and the rump roast farts in your face.
Q: You want to know what's grosser than that?
A: When you sit on your grandpa's lap and he pops a boner.
But the one thing that is grosser than that is when you are siting on your grandma's lap and she pops a boner.

Computer Acronyms List

Humorous Computer-Related Acronyms

• IBM: I Blame Microsoft. Idiots Buy Me. Idiots Building Machines. I'll Buy Macintosh. It Bit Me. It Built Microsoft. It's Better Manually. I've Been Mislead. I've Been Mugged.
• WINDOWS: Well, It Never Does Operate With Speed. When I Need Data Output Without Speed. While Idle, Needs DX or WorkStation. Will Install Needless Data On Whole System.
• WIN: Whoppingly Immense NOP. Worm Infestation Netware.
• MSWINDOWS NT / WINDOWS NT: My Solitaire With Its New De-accelerator, Only With Some Network Technology Well Intended, Netword De-accelerator, Only Works Sometimes, Never Totally.
• APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
• DEC: Dump Everything and Close
• DEC: Do Expect Cuts
• HCL: Hilarious Computer Logic
• HP: Hot Pursuit
• MAC: Most Absurd Computer
• MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
• MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
• NEXT: Now EXchange for Trash
• OS/2: Obsolete Soon, Too.
• WARP: What A Rot Program
• CD-ROM: Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
• COBOL: Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
• DOS: Defective Operating System
• ISDN: It Still Does Nothing
• LISP: Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parenthesis
• MIPS: Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
• PCMCIA: People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
• PENTIUM: Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics
• SCSI: System Can't See It
• WWW: World Wide Wait

An Antique

An antique is something your grandmother bought, your mother threw out, and you are now buying it back.