Top 10 Reasons For Santa's Raise

10. The hours, the weather, the trend toward smaller chimneys.

9. Nike won't give him a lucrative side-contract.

8. Reindeer and elves have unionized, driving up his cost.

7. New tax on flying sleighs.

6. Insurance for flying a sleigh has tripled over the past two years.

5. Needs extra cash to cover off-season gambling losses.

4. Air traffic controllers demanding higher kickbacks.

3. Cost of living increase at the North Pole.

2. Children don't leave as many cookies as they used to.

1. The Mrs. told him to.

Sex Before Communion

A concerned girl asked the priest, "Father, is it a sin to have sex before receiving communion?" He replied, "Only if you block the aisle."

The Call of Nature

One fine day in the middle of class at school, a girl raised her asking to be excused: "Teacher, can I answer the call of nature?" Knowing what the kid wanted, the teacher said okay. Immediately, the girl ran to the toilet. Within a minute, she was back. Another girl was shocked by how she could actually take care of business so quickly, and asked how she managed to do it so fast. The girl responded, "It was a prank call."