PMS

Q: Why do they call it PMS?
A: Mad Cow disease was already taken.

Tombstone Epitaph II

Tombstone Epitaph In a London, England cemetery: Ann Mann
Here lies Ann Mann, who lived as an old maid, but died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767

Family Vocabulary Lesson

A little boy came home from school one day and told his mother, ''Mom, today I heard some older kids using some words I don't know the meaning of. Can you tell me what they mean?'' ''Sure,'' his mother said. ''Just tell me what they are.'' The little boy replied, ''Pussy and bitch.'' His mother said, ''No problem. A pussy is a cat, like the neighbor's Tabby, and a bitch is a female dog, like our Sandy.'' The boy thanked his mother, and then went out to the garage, where his father was working. ''Dad,'' he began, ''today I heard some kids using some words that I don't know the meaning of. I asked Mom, but I don't think that she gave me the right answer. Can you help me?'' ''Sure,'' his father replied. ''What are the words?'' ''Pussy and bitch,'' the boy replied. His father said, ''I thought I told you anytime you have a question like that, you were supposed to ask me, and not your mother, because she can't handle it.'' With that, he reached up on a shelf and pulled down an edition of Playboy magazine, and a magic marker. He then took the marker, and drew a circle around the woman's genital area. ''Son,'' he began, ''everything inside this circle is a pussy.'' ''Okay,'' his son said, ''but what is a bitch?'' His father said, ''Everything outside this circle.''