Autobiography

I've heard a witch is writing a tell all book about her life.
Warts and all.

Two Olives

Two olives were sitting at a bar having a couple martinis, when all of a sudden, one olive falls off his chair and hits the ground. The other olive looks down at him and says, "Oh man, are you okay?" The olive looks up at him and says, " Yes, Ol-live."

Bear in a Bar

A bear walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, I'd like a gin and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . tonic.
The bartender asks, "Why the big pause?" The bear answers, "Born with them, I guess."