Dumb Alabama Laws

It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
Dominoes may not be played on Sunday.
You may not drive barefooted.
It is illegal to maim oneself to escape duty.
It is illegal to impersonate a person of the clergy.
Women are able to retain all property they owned prior to marriage in the case of divorce. However, this provision does not apply to men.
Masks may not be worn in public.
Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death.
Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.
Bear wrestling matches are prohibited.
It is legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street if you have a lantern attached to the front of your automobile.
Men may not spit in front of the opposite sex.
Incestuous marriages are legal.
It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.
You must have windshield wipers on your car.
You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.
Anniston:  You may not wear blue jeans down Noble Street.
Jasper:  It is illegal for a husband to beat his wife with a stick larger in diameter than his thumb.
Lee County:  It is illegal to sell peanuts in Lee County after sundown on Wednesday.
Mobile:  It is unlawful to wear women's pumps with sharp, high heels.
It is unlawful to howl at ladies inside the city limits.
Montgomery:  It is considered an offense to open an umbrella on a street, for fear of it spooking horses. (Repealed)

A Newsom Promise

Worried about getting recalled, Gavin Newsom tries to improve his image by visiting a remote northern Indian reservation.
With his paid-for news crews following him around as they tour the place, he asks the chief if there was anything they need.
"Well," says the chief, "We have three very important needs.  
First, we have a medical clinic but no doctor to man it."
Newsom whips out his phone, dials a number, talks to somebody for two minutes, and then hangs up. "I've pulled some strings. Your doctor will arrive in a few days with enough Covid vaccine for all of your people.
Now, what was the second problem?"
"We have no way to get clean water. The local mining operation has poisoned the water our people have been drinking for thousands of years.  We've been trucking bottled water in, and it's terribly expensive." 
Once again, the Newsom dials a number, yells into the phone for a few minutes, and then hangs up. "The mine has been shut down, and the owners will pay for a purification plant for your people. 
Now, what was that third problem?"
The chief looks at him and says, "We have no cellphone reception up here!"

Rochester Residents to Change Lightbulb

Q: How many Rochester residents does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Fifty one - one to screw in the bulb, and fifty to comment about how much better the bulb is than light bulbs in Buffalo.