West Virginia's Most Confusing Day

Q: What is the most confusing day in West Virginia?
A: Father's Day.

Kansas Crazy Law

• If two trains meet on the same track, neither shall proceed until the other has passed.
• The state game rule prohibits the use of mules to hunt ducks.
• Rabbits may not be shot from motorboats.
• No one may catch fish with his bare hands.
• Pedestrians crossing the highways at night must wear tail lights.
• It is illegal to spit on a sidewalk.
• All places of business must provide a horse water troft
• No one may wear a bee in their hat.
• All cars entering the city limits must first sound their horn to warn the horses of their arrival.
• Musical car horns are banned
• It is against the law to leave your car running unattended.
• The installation of bathtubs is prohibited.
• Any person caught using or carrying bean snappers or the like shall upon conviction, be fined. -City ordinance 349 of Wichita, Kansas.
• Before proceeding through the interesection of Douglas and Broadway, a motorist is required to get out of their vehice and fire three shot gun rounds into the air.

The Balance of Washington

God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found Him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction, and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is THAT?" "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it 'Earth' and it's going to be a great place of balance." "Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing to different parts of earth, "For example, over there I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things". God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice." The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said, "What's that one?" "Ah," said God, "That's Washington State, one of the most glorious places on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, plains and valleys. The people from Washington State are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent and humorous, and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats, and carriers of peace." Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then proclaimed, "But,.. What about balance, God? You said there would be balance." God smiled, "OH,... There IS another Washington...and wait until you see the freakin' idiots I put THERE!!!!."