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U.S. State Jokes
Divorced Brother And Sister
If a couple from Tennessee get a legal divorce, can they still be brother and sister?
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Crazy Laws of Arkansas
A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month.
A law provides that school teachers who bob their hair will not get a raise.
Alligators may not be kept in bathtubs.
The Arkansas River can rise no higher than to the Main Street bridge in Little Rock.
Arkansas must be pronounced "Arkansaw"
A voter is only allowed five minutes to mark his ballot.
Dogs may not bark after 6 PM.
It is illegal to kill "any living creature."
It is unlawful to walk one's cow down Main Street after 1:00 PM on Sunday.
No person shall sound the horn on a vehicle at any place where cold drinks or sandwiches are served after 9:00 P.M.
Flirtation between men and women on the streets of Little Rock may result in a 30-day jail term.
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You Know You're From California When...
The fastest part of your commute is down your driveway
You were born somewhere else
You know how to eat an artichoke
The primary bugs that you worry about are electronic
Your car has bulletproof windows
Left is right and right is wrong
Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income
Your mouse has only one ball
If you need a new TV, you can run down to the local riot and pick one up
You dive under a desk whenever a large truck goes by
You can't find your other earring because your son is wearing it
You drive to your neighborhood block party
Your family tree contains "significant others"
Your dog has its own psychiatrist
You don't exterminate your roaches, you smoke them!
You see 25 lawyers chasing an ambulance
More than clothes come out of the closets
"The Dead" are best live
You go to a tanning salon before going to the beach
Your blind date turns out to be your ex-spouse
More money is spent on facelifts than on diapers
Smoking in your office is not optional
You pack shorts and a T-shirt for skiing in the snow and a sweater and a wetsuit for the beach
When you can't meet schedule because you must "do lunch"
Your children learn to walk in Birkenstocks
Rainstorms or thunder are the lead story for the local news
You'll reluctantly miss yoga class to wait for the hottub repairman
You consult your horoscope before planning your day
A glass has been reserved for you at your favorite winery
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