Car Troubles

A wife comes home and tells her husband, "Dear, something is wrong with my car. It's got water in the carburetor." The husband replies, "That's not possible." "Well," says the wife, "I'm telling you that's the problem." The husband gets up and sighs, "OK, fine. Where'd you park it?" The wife points toward the backyard, "In the swimming pool."

Stuck In a Plane

George Bushes, father Bush and son Bush, Bush, Jr., are on board a small two seater plane when suddenly George Senior, the pilot, parachutes out of the plane. Not knowing how to fly, National Guard Service or not, a plane George, Jr., grabs the radio. "Mayday, mayday! My Dad just jumped out of the plane!" Ground control receives the call for help and answers back: "Your dad?" "He left me here! Took the parachute!" "Sir, your dad?" "He's the pilot! Gosh!" "Okay, don't worry, sir. I'll talk you down, just do as I say. First I need you to give me your height and position." "I'm over six feet and sitting in the front!"

Lost in a Balloon

Two hobbyists get into their balloon for an excursion. After a while, the wind unexpectedly picks up, and the balloon goes out of control. The two balloonists, with great effort, manage to keep the balloon stable, upright, and away from power lines. But they are lost. With more effort, they get the balloon near the ground. While floating over a country road, they see a man walking below. One of the balloonists calls down to him, "We're lost! Can you tell us where we are?" The man thinks for a while, looks down, looks up, looks down again, stares into space for a minute, and then cries out, "You're in a balloon!" The wind picks up, and the balloon floats off. After a moment, one balloonist says to the other, "That man must be a manager." "Why?" "Three reasons. First, he took a long time to answer. Second, he was perfectly correct. Third, his answer was perfectly useless!"