Pissing on a Ferrari

One day, a guy walks out from a shop to see someone pissing on his Ferrari. "Hey," says the man. "Why are you pissing on my Ferrari?" "Because I feel like it." "Tell you what -- I won't report you to the police if you can keep up with my Ferrari." "Whatever." So the guy gets in his car and drives off, going faster and faster, until he's hit 100 miles per hour. Amazingly, the guy is still keeping up. "I'm amazed," says the driver. "How are you keeping up?" "It's easy," says the running man, "when your dick is stuck in the door."

Yo Mama - Flight Ticket

Yo' Mama is so fat, the last time she booked a flight, her boarding ticket read, "Please allow up to 4-6 weeks for freight delivery."

Lorena Bobbitt Car Accident

Q: Did you hear Lorena Bobbitt was almost killed in a traffic accident?
A: Some dick cut her off.