Son in the Outhouse

A man was heading to England and his next-door neighbor Mrs. Dunn had just sent her son Olmos off to England a week ago. He hadn't called since he was there, so she asked the man to get him to call her. She knew he was staying in a big white house so she told him that. When he arrived in England, the man asked the first person he saw for the big white house. Thinking he meant the outhouse, the Brit said, ''It is in the middle of the park.'' So the man went to the park and saw a white house in the center. He knocked on the door and said, ''Are you Olmos Dunn?'' A voice came from inside, ''Yeah, I just have to find the toilet paper.''

Penguin Car Trouble

Once there was a penguin whose car broke down. He took it in to get it serviced, and while it was being worked on, he went shopping. He returned later that day to see what had happened to his car, and the mechanic told him, "It looks like you've blown a seal." The penguin, chuckling, and wiping his beak replied, "No, I've just eaten some ice-cream."

Bumper Stickers Seen

Bumper Stickers Seen

• You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me.
• I have the body of a god... Buddha.
• This would be really funny if it weren't happening to me.
• Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
• The face is familiar but i can't quite remember my name.
• Illiterate? Write for help.
• Honk if anything falls off.
• He who hesitates is not only lost but miles from the next exit.
• This isn't my idea of a good time.
• It's been lovely, but I have to scream now.
• Uniquely maladjusted, but fun.
• This bumper sticker exploits illiterates.
• I haven't lost my mind it's backed up on disk somewhere.
• Oh, evolve!
• Gone crazy be back shortly.
• If you're not outraged you're not paying attention.