Top 10 Lists

25 Signs You've Grown Up:

  1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
  2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
  3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
  4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
  5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
  6. You watch the Weather Channel.
  7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.
  8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
  9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
  10. You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
  11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
  12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
  13. Your car insurance goes down and your payments go up.
  14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds leftovers.
  15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
  16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM.
  17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
  18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
  19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
  20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
  21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
  22. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces, "I'm never going to drink that much again."
  23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
  24. You no longer drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
  25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you!!!

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Anonymous

Top Ten Reasons To Live In Saskatchewan

  1. You never run out of wheat
  2. Those cool Saskatchewan Wheat Pool hats
  3. Cruise control takes on a whole new meaning
  4. Your province is really easy to draw
  5. You never have to worry about roll-back if you have a standard
  6. It takes you two weeks to walk to your neighbor's house
  7. YOUR Roughriders survived
  8.  You can watch the dog run away from home for hours
  9. People will assume you live on a farm
  10. Buying a huge John Deere mower makes sense

Anonymous

Top 10 Things To Scare Your Roommate Off

10. Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, ''He just didn't belong.''
9. Move everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate if he knows how much an elephant weighs, and look at the floor on the empty side of the room with concern.
8. Draw a tiny black line on your nose. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, ''The hair, it's growing. Growing!''
7. Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, ''Soon, soon....''
6. Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.
5. Tell your roommate, ''I've got an important message for you.'' Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, ''Oh, yeah, I remember!'' Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.
4. While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.
3. Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, ''Hey, where the heck is my sandwich!?'' Complain loudly that you are hungry.
2. Every time your roommate walks in yell, ''Hooray! You're back!'' as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, ''Shouldn't you be going somewhere?''
1. Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, ''No, I want to watch them suffer.'''

Anonymous
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