Top 10 Things Bowe Bergdahl Learned from the Taliban

10. It’s normal to own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.
9. Most of his Taliban friends have more wives than teeth.
8. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon 'unclean.'
7. You believe vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
6. If you don’t like what someone else is doing, you simply declare Jihad against them.
5. You believe television is dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
4. You forget that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
3. You often utter the phrase, 'I love what you've done with your cave.'
2. You bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not.
1. It’s not unusual to have a crush on your neighbor's goat.

No Televisions in Afghanistan

Q: Why are there no televisions in Afghanistan?
A: Because of the Telly-ban!

Taliban Tank

Q: How do you stop a taliban tank?
A: Shoot the guy pushing it.