Telephone Jokes - Answering Machine Jokes

Doesn't It Annoy You When...

Doesn't it annoy you when

  • ...there's a car alarm nearby that goes on for hours and the owner is nowhere to be found?
  • ...you buy an answering machine so you won't miss any calls, and then everyone hangs up when they hear the machine answer?
  • ...there's a cop car in sight and everyone thinks they have to drive 10-15 mph slower than the speed limit?
  • ...you're reading a magazine and all those annoying little subscription cards keep falling out?
  • ...you tell someone that a door is locked and they try to open it anyway, like it'll magically open for them and not you.
  • ...someone says, "well, to make a long story short" and then they go on telling it for another 15 minutes.
  • ...a friend or family member says "Yuck! This is awful!!" and then tells you to try some.
  • ...you have to inform five different sales people in the same store that you're just looking around.
  • ...you rub on hand cream and can't turn the bathroom doorknob to get out.
  • ...a waiter or waitress is not around at any time other than right after you put food in your mouth.
  • ...your tire gauge lets half the air in your tire when all you want is a pressure reading.
  • ...there's a dog in your neighborhood that barks at EVERYTHING.
  • ...the power goes out, and you discover every flashlight you have has dead batteries.
  • ...someone gets in the express lane at the supermarket and writes a check or uses a credit card.
  • ...the elevator stops at every floor and nobody gets on.
  • ...you almost ALWAYS back up your computer files but the week you don't, your hard drive crashes and you lose everything.

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Anonymous

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Anonymous

Real Live Answering Machine

Hi, you have reached Richard. I'm sorry, but my answering machine is out of order, so the voice you are hearing is actually me.

Anonymous
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