French Maid Techie

A French maid was tidying up for a wealthy computer whiz. She commented that he had a nice PC. He looked frustrated and said, "Yeah, it's top of the line, but I can't seem to get any programs to start up. You wouldn't happen to know how these gizmos work, do you?" She replied, "I'm sorry monsieur, I would love to help you, but oh la la, I don't do Windows!"

Microsoft Retail Store

Q: What does it say on the door of the Microsoft store? 
A: No shirt, no shoes, no Surface.

AMD & Intel

I tried to get my mom to switch from AMD to Intel... 
...but I couldn't Celeron it.