PC Support

Tech Support hotlines are not easy work, you get calls from all sorts of idiotic users that apparently can't read a manual, or lack common sense. Here is a transcript of just one such case:
Caller "Hello is this Packard Bell Tech support?"
Tech "Yes how can I help you?"
Caller "The cup holder on front of my computer broke off and it is still under warranty, how do I go about getting it fixed?"
Tech "Excuse me, you've stumped me. How did you get this cup holder, was it part of some promotion?"
Caller "It came with the computer, I don't know of any promotion."
Tech "Does it have any markings on it, any names, any symbols?"
Caller "Yes, it says 4X!"

Computer Related Bumper Stickers

1. BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding
2. <-------- The information went data way
3. The name is Baud...James Baud.
4. BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!
5. Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!
6. C:V> Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
7. Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)
8. Backups? We don' *NEED* no stinking backups.
9. E Pluribus Modem
10. File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
11. Ethernet: something used to catch the etherbunny
12. CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/N)?
13. 11th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium.
14. Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
15. SENILE.COM found; Out Of Memory
16. RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure.
17. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue...
18. COFFEE.EXE Missing- Insert Cup and Press Any Key
19. ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
20. E-mail returned to sender - insufficient voltage. 
21. Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
22. "640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981
23. Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!
24. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
25. REALITY.SYS corrupted: Reboot universe? (Y/N/Q)
26. Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
27. Hit any user to continue.
28. Disk Full - Press F1 to belch.
29. Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
30. (A)bort, (R)etry, (G)et a beer?

French Maid Techie

A French maid was tidying up for a wealthy computer whiz. She commented that he had a nice PC. He looked frustrated and said, "Yeah, it's top of the line, but I can't seem to get any programs to start up. You wouldn't happen to know how these gizmos work, do you?" She replied, "I'm sorry monsieur, I would love to help you, but oh la la, I don't do Windows!"