Problem Brother

Dear Editor,
I have two brothers, one works at Microsoft, the other was sentenced to death in the electric chair My mother died of insanity when I was three years old, my two sisters are prostitutes and my father sells drugs. Recently, I met a girl who was released from a reformatory where she served time for smothering her illegitimate child to death. I love this girl very much and want to marry her. My problem is this: Shall I tell her about my brother who works at Microsoft? 

Computer Memory

Q: How does a computer tell you it needs more memory?
A: It says ''byte me'''

Tech Talk

• Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
• My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
• Definition of an upgrade: old bugs out, new ones in.
• C:\> Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
• Why doesn't it ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename"?
• As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
• Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)
• E Pluribus Modem
• >File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
• Ethernet (n): something used to catch the Etherbunny.
• A mainframe: the biggest PC peripheral available.
• A computer's attention span is as long as it's power cord.
• Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
• Windows: just another pane in the glass.
• Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.
• All computers wait at the same speed.
• Go ahead, make my data.
• Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.
• Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.
• ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI.
• Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.