TLA's

Q: What's the difference between USA and USB?
A: One connects to all your devices & access your data, and the other is a hardware standard.

Computer Dating Service

A young lady visited a computer dating service and requested, "I'm looking for a spouse. Can you please help me to find a suitable one?" The matchmaker said, "What exactly are you looking for?" " Well, let me see. Needs to be good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good at singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour if I don't go out. Be able to tell me interesting stories when I need a companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest." The matchmaker entered the information into the computer and, in a matter of moments, handed the results to the woman. The results read, "Buy a television."  

Typeface

Two fonts walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says, "We don't serve your type here."