You Aren't the Worst

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
Gerrad, a friend of mine, bought a computer, even though he had never even used a typewriter before. After investigating the computer, he decided to call the help line. A friendly voice explained step by step how his new machine worked. All went well until the voice told him to press the space bar. After studying the keyboard, Gerrad said, "I've got the latest model and it doesn't have a space bar." But after further explanation, he managed to find it.
A week later, Gerrad again had problems and called the help line. An instructor was then sent to his house for training. But after a few minutes, Gerrad's head was spinning. "You don't need to go any further," he sighed, "I don't understand a thing."
To cheer him up, the instructor said, "Hey, there are people who understand a lot less than you. Last week we had someone on the phone who didn't even know where the space bar was!"

Apple Breakfast

Q: What does an iPhone eat for breakfast?
A: Siri-al

About Face

Q: What twitter message did Ukraine's President Poroshenko send to Putin after the invasion?
A: The Crimea isn't yours, please retweet.