Computer Acronyms List

Humorous Computer-Related Acronyms

• IBM: I Blame Microsoft. Idiots Buy Me. Idiots Building Machines. I'll Buy Macintosh. It Bit Me. It Built Microsoft. It's Better Manually. I've Been Mislead. I've Been Mugged.
• WINDOWS: Well, It Never Does Operate With Speed. When I Need Data Output Without Speed. While Idle, Needs DX or WorkStation. Will Install Needless Data On Whole System.
• WIN: Whoppingly Immense NOP. Worm Infestation Netware.
• MSWINDOWS NT / WINDOWS NT: My Solitaire With Its New De-accelerator, Only With Some Network Technology Well Intended, Netword De-accelerator, Only Works Sometimes, Never Totally.
• APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
• DEC: Dump Everything and Close
• DEC: Do Expect Cuts
• HCL: Hilarious Computer Logic
• HP: Hot Pursuit
• MAC: Most Absurd Computer
• MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
• MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
• NEXT: Now EXchange for Trash
• OS/2: Obsolete Soon, Too.
• WARP: What A Rot Program
• CD-ROM: Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
• COBOL: Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
• DOS: Defective Operating System
• ISDN: It Still Does Nothing
• LISP: Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parenthesis
• MIPS: Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
• PCMCIA: People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
• PENTIUM: Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics
• SCSI: System Can't See It
• WWW: World Wide Wait

Taking Dweebonics Classes

TOP TEN SIGNS YOUR KID IS TAKING DWEEBONICS CLASSES
10. They tilt their head sideways to smile.
9. When you ground them, they say, "Your UI could really use some work."
8. They say, "My dad can beat your dad at Quake."
7. Instead of laughing, they say, "LOL."
6. They insult kids by saying, "And you've got limited bandwidth!"
5. They change the answering machine message to "BRB, leave your URL, and we'll TTYL."
4. This is how they ask someone out on a date: "Umm, uh, well...see ya!"
3. Calling from camp, your homesick child says, "I'm roaming outside my service area!"
2. When you ask if they've finished their book report, they say, "It's in beta, but it'll ship in time."
1. You're telling them something they don't want to hear. They're saying, "NAK, NAK, NAK" the whole time.

Abbreviations

Q: What's E.T. short for?
A: So he can fit in his spaceship.