Light Bulb - Computer Journalists

Q: How many computer journalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Five-one to write a review of all the existing light bulbs so you can decide which one to buy, another one to write a remarkably similar one in another magazine the next month, a third to have a big one come out on glossy paper two months later that is by then completely out of date, a fourth to hint in his/her column that a completely new and updated bulb is coming out, and the fifth to report a rumor that that new bulb is shipping with a virus.

Apple Robbery

Q: How did they catch the iPhone X thief at the Apple store?
A: They had an iWitness.

Robot Booty Call

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I roll by again?