Problem Brother

Dear Editor,
I have two brothers, one works at Microsoft, the other was sentenced to death in the electric chair My mother died of insanity when I was three years old, my two sisters are prostitutes and my father sells drugs. Recently, I met a girl who was released from a reformatory where she served time for smothering her illegitimate child to death. I love this girl very much and want to marry her. My problem is this: Shall I tell her about my brother who works at Microsoft? 

Answering Machine - Darth Vader

(Darth Vader voice:) Speak, worm!

iSpy

Q: What would you be if you saw someone steal an iPhone6?
A: An iWitness.