Trekker vs. Trekkie

• A Trekker wears a starfleet uniform to a convention because it's fun. A Trekkie wears a starfleet uniform to a convention because s/he has heard that it is in style at the academy.
• A Trekker has a Starfleet Academy window sticker on his car.  A Trekkie is cramming for the entrance exams.
• A Trekker meets Marina Sirtis/Gates McFadden at a convention, tells her how pretty he thinks she is, that it is too bad she is married or he would ask her out.  A Trekkie meets Deanna Troi/Dr. Crusher at a convention, tells her how pretty he thinks she is, and asks her if she is still seeing Riker (Picard, some alien patient, et al).
• A Trekker loves watching the show, nitpicking and discussing it with friends. A Trekkie loves watching those documentaries filmed aboard the Enterprise.
• A Trekker thinks Wil Wheaton was a lucky kid who got to play a kid on Star Trek. A Trekkie thinks that Wesley Crusher was a lucky kid who got to sit on the bridge.
• A Trekker thinks that it is a shame that the show is coming to an end. A Trekkie thinks that it is a shame that the crew is being reassigned and the Enterprise is being decomissioned.
• A Trekker knows that there are gaping holes in the technology, but ignores them and enjoys the show. A Trekkie can't wait for the price to come down on those home food replicator units.
• A Trekker buys pips for the rank s/he wants to be. A Trekkie wonders why he is constantly passed over for promotion.
• A Trekker tells his/her new girl/boyfriend that s/he really likes Star Trek.  A Trekkie's new girl/boyfriend is an underclassman at the academy.

Computer's Attention Span

The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord.

Problem Brother

Dear Editor,
I have two brothers, one works at Microsoft, the other was sentenced to death in the electric chair My mother died of insanity when I was three years old, my two sisters are prostitutes and my father sells drugs. Recently, I met a girl who was released from a reformatory where she served time for smothering her illegitimate child to death. I love this girl very much and want to marry her. My problem is this: Shall I tell her about my brother who works at Microsoft?