Measuring The Poles

There were three Aggies; one crane operator, one pole climber, one guide. The guide tied the crane to the end of a pole. The crane operator would then pick the pole up on end. The climber climbed to the top and dropped a tape measure which the guide promptly read and noted the measurement. The crane operator then lowered the pole to the ground and repositioned to pick up another pole. This went on several times when the foreman came over and asked why they couldn't measure the poles while they were laying on the ground? The Aggies replied, "we need to know how tall the poles are, not how long".

Texas Hooker

This guy was walking down a street in Texas and this hooker says, "Say, wanna have a good time? We do things in a big way down here in Texas."  "Sure," he says and they were off to the nearest motel.
She takes off her clothes and he keeps staring at her.  She says, "Is this the first pussy you seen since you crawled out of one?"  The guy says, "No, just the first one I've seen big enough to crawl back into."

Nurse Conversations

Several nurses on break in the Boston General cafeteria were discussing boyfriends, past and present. Suddenly, a nurse from New York City said, "Well, I have discovered men are all alike!" Whereupon, a pert little nurse from Dallas laughed and slapped the table. "Gal," she said, "men are all ah like, too!"