Irma Time

Q: What's the difference between the lost city of Atlantis and Miami?
A: About 24 hours.

Show Me The Money!

1. A fool and his money are asked to go everywhere!
2. A fool and his money are soon elected.
3. A fool and his money are soon popular.
4. A fool and his money is my kind of customer!
5. If money's the root of all evil, why do churches want it?
6. All I ask is to prove that money can't make me happy.
7. Come to Florida, bring money, BUT GET THE HECK OFF OUR BEACH!
8. Even the blind can see money.
9. Expert - Someone who knows less, but makes more money.
10. It's not the money I want, it's the stuff.
11. Life is a game. Money is how we keep score.
12. Money burns a hole in my pocket... how about yours?
13. Money is like an arm or leg, use it or lose it.
14. Money is the root of all bills.
15. Money may buy "friendship," but it cannot buy love.
16. Money Talks - and it usually says NO!!
17. Never forget a friend, especially if he owes you money.
18. Political Motto: I had some morals; sold them for money.
19. This country has the best politicians money can buy.
20. Time and Money. Two things we don't have enough of....
21. Turbo-Tax took money out of my Quicken directory.
22. Visit your money this year - vacation in Washington D.C.
23. When money talks, it usually says "Bend over."
24. You infernal machine! Give me a soda or my money back!
25. Alimony? ... sounds kind like all your money
26. No one kills over drugs ... They kill over money.
27. Massachusetts has the best politicians money can buy.

Signs and Notices 17

These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.

• An ad on the subway in NYC: "Learn to read and speak English. Call us now."
• An Amelia Island, FL, podiatrist: "Emergency Foot Surgery- Walk-ins Welcomed."
• Sign over a restroom in a restaurant: "Used beer department."
• On a store front in Florida: "Your one stop shop! Beer ammo and liquor. Drive through open 24 hours!"
• A speed limit sign on Long Beach Island, New Jersey: "Smile, You're on Radar!"
• Seen in a State Park in California: "Weather Station (A large sign with a Rock hanging on a rope) Check the Rock. If it's wet, it's raining. If it's moving, it's windy. If you can't see it, it's foggy. If rock is gone, it's a tornado."