Small World

Two men are having an awfully slow round of golf because the two ladies in front of them managed to get into every sand trap, lake, and rough on the course, and they didn't bother to wave the men on through, which is proper golf etiquette. After two hours of waiting and waiting, one man said, "I think I'll walk up there and ask those gals to let us play through." He walked out to the fairway, got halfway to the ladies, stopped, turned around and came back, explaining, "I can't do it. One of those women is my wife and the other is my mistress. Maybe you'd better go talk to them." The second man walked toward the ladies, go halfway there and, just as his partner had done, stopped, turned around and walked back. He smiled sheepishly and said, "Small World!"

Golf Pro Advice

Three bad golfers were teeing off when they saw a pro walk by. One guy yelled out, "Hey, pro, you want to join us?" The pro figured he didn't have anything else to do, so he got his clubs and joined them. The first guy walked up to the tee box and hit. The ball landed on another fairway. The guy turns around and asks the pro, "What did I do wrong?" The pro looks at him and says "LOFT." The guy pretends to understand this and put his club back in his bag. The next guy walks up to the tee box and hits. The ball slices into the parking lot. The guy asks what he did wrong. The pro again says "LOFT." The last guy walks up and hits. The ball goes five feet off the tee box. The pro says "LOFT." The first guy walks up to the pro and asks, "What does LOFT mean if everybody sucks? The pro says, "You all suffer from Lack Of F**king Talent."

Bob on the 18th Hole

Bob stood over his tee short on the 18th hole for what seemed like forever. He'd waggle, look down, look up, but never start his back swing.  Finally David, his playing partner, asked, "Why on Earth are you taking so long to make this shot?"  "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse and I want to make this shot a good one," said Bob.  "Good Lord," said David, "you haven't got a chance of hitting her from here."