Golf Pro Advice

Three bad golfers were teeing off when they saw a pro walk by. One guy yelled out, "Hey, pro, you want to join us?" The pro figured he didn't have anything else to do, so he got his clubs and joined them. The first guy walked up to the tee box and hit. The ball landed on another fairway. The guy turns around and asks the pro, "What did I do wrong?" The pro looks at him and says "LOFT." The guy pretends to understand this and put his club back in his bag. The next guy walks up to the tee box and hits. The ball slices into the parking lot. The guy asks what he did wrong. The pro again says "LOFT." The last guy walks up and hits. The ball goes five feet off the tee box. The pro says "LOFT." The first guy walks up to the pro and asks, "What does LOFT mean if everybody sucks? The pro says, "You all suffer from Lack Of F**king Talent."

Bob on the 18th Hole

Bob stood over his tee short on the 18th hole for what seemed like forever. He'd waggle, look down, look up, but never start his back swing.  Finally David, his playing partner, asked, "Why on Earth are you taking so long to make this shot?"  "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse and I want to make this shot a good one," said Bob.  "Good Lord," said David, "you haven't got a chance of hitting her from here."

Inventing golf

Along time ago two Scottsmen are in a pub. One Scottsman says, "I'm going to invent a game." The second man asks, "What do you have to do?" The first man says, "You have to get a ball in a hole." The second man asks, "So it's like billiards?" The first man says, "No, it's going to be much farther away." The second man asks "So, it's something like bowling?" The first man says, "No, it's going to be played on grass, and it's going to twist and turn." So the second man asks, "So it's kind of like croquet?" The first man says, "NO, I'm going to put in tall grass, and water, and sand, and trees, just to piss you off!" So the second man asks, "So you do this once?" The first man replies, "NO, you do it EIGHTEEN TIMES!!"