In The Bag

A "tourist," supposedly on a golf holiday, stood in line at the customs counter. While making idle chatter, the customs official thought it odd that the golfer didn't know what a handicap was. The officer then asked the tourist to demonstrate his swing. He did - backwards. A substantial amount of narcotics was found in the golf bag.

Tennis Partner

Q: Why don't tennis players get married?
A: Because love means nothing to them.

A Vicar and Colin Golfing

A Vicar and his friend, Colin were playing golf. Colin misses a 3 foot putt and yells, "Goddamn it, missed the bugger!" and the vicar says, "If you keep saying that then God will punish you." Next hole Colin misses a 2 foot putt and says "Goddamn it, missed the bugger!" and the vicar says, "ONE more time Colin, and God will punish you!" Then Colin misses a one foot putt and "GOD DAMN IT!!! MISSED THE BUGGER!" Suddenly clouds form overhead. God comes down from Heaven and strikes the Vicar dead with a bolt of thunder. God says, "Goddamn it! Missed the bugger!"