Early Training

Coach Bowden was talking to the newest player on the team. "It's fantastic the way you strike the line, dodge, tackle and weave through your opponents." Luke was a shy fellow, but blurted out, "I suppose it all comes from early training, sir. You see, my mom used to take me shopping with her on sale days."

Hole In One

Q: Why do golfers carry two pairs of trousers with them?
A: Just in case they get a hole in one.

Centipede

One day the big animals and the little animals decided to have a football game. As the first half went along, the big animals were scoring at will. Every time they got the ball they would run it in for a touchdown. Then came the second half...First play: The elephant runs the ball up the middle. WAP!! Tackled for a five yard loss. The little animals go back to the huddle cheering and congratulating each other. "Who made that tackle?" asked the ant. "I did," said the centipede. Second play: The rhinoceros runs the ball up the middle. WHOMP!! Tackled for another five yard loss. Back in the huddle the flea asked, "Who made that great stop?" "I did," said the centipede. Third play: The gorilla tries an end sweep, led by the hippo throwing the lead blocks. SMACK!! Centipede tackles him for a ten yard loss. Back in the huddle, the gnat asked the centipede, "Where were you in the first half?" The centipede replied, "Puttin' on my shoes!"