Going Down

As I slipped my finger slowly inside her hole, at first encountering resistance but then plunging in, I could immediately feel it getting wetter and wetter. I took my finger back out and within seconds, before I knew it, she was going down on me. And I thought to myself..... "I really need a new freakin' boat."

Shaquille O'Neal

If Shaquille O'neal was ...
A banana, he'd be Shaquille O'peal
A shade of blue, he'd be Shaquille O'teal
A criminal he'd be Shaquille O'steal
Overly emotional he'd be Shaquille O'feel

Dear Abby

I have never written to you before, but I really need your advice. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs, phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with 'the girls' a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, just some friends from work, you don't know them. I try to stay awake and watch for her when she comes home, but I usually fall asleep. Anyway, I have never broached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just did not want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to finally check on her around midnight, I hid in the garage behind my golf clubs so I could get a good view of the whole street when she arrived home from a night out with "the girls." When she got out of the car she was buttoning up her blouse, which was open, and she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment, crouching behind my golf clubs, that I noticed a hairline crack where the grip meets the graphite shaft on my Ping G25 driver.
Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the PGA Superstore?
Concerned Golfer