If Men Ruled The World

• Hallmark would make "Sorry I don't remember your name" cards.
• If your girlfriend really needs to talk to you during the game, she'll appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.
• A smack to the ass and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time," would complete a break up.
• Birth control would come in ale or lager.
• Instead of an engagement ring, you could surprise your fiance with a giant "You're #1!" foam hand.
• Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th, so it would only occur in leap years.

Will Rogers On Men

Q:  How could Will Rogers say, "I never met a man I didn't like"?
A:  He never had to date one.

The Crazies

A man is walking along the road, when he hears someone shouting, "Twelve! Twelve!" over a fence. As he walks closer to the fence, they start shouting, "Thirteen! Thirteen!" Curious, the man looks through a gap in the fence. Suddenly he's poked in the eye by a man on the other side, and as he lies there, clutching his head, the man hears, "Fourteen! Fourteen!"