Dogs and Men

How Dogs and Men Are the Same :
1. Both take up too much space on the bed.
2. Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.
3. Both mark their territory.
4. Neither tells you what's bothering them.
5. The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.
6. Both have an inordinate fascination with women's crotches.
7. Neither does any dishes.
8. Both fart shamelessly.
9. Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.
10. Both like dominance games.
11. Both are suspicious of the postman.
12. Neither understands what you see in cats.

Men And Mad Cow Disease

A woman asks: "Why don't men get mad cow disease?" Another woman replies: "Because men are pigs!"

How To Get A Man To Leave

Q: How do you get a man to leave when you want?
A: Ask him about his feelings.