Murphy's Bar

A Scotsman, American, and an Irishman are in a bar.  They're having a good time and all agree that the bar is a nice place.
Then the Scotsman says, "Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I come from, back in Glasgow, there's a better one. At MacDougal's, you buy two drinks and MacDougal himself will buy your third drink!"
The others agree that sounds like a good place.
Then the American says, "Yeah, that's a nice bar, but where I come from, there's a better one. Over in Brooklyn, there's this place, Vinny's. At Vinny's, you buy a drink, Vinny buys you a drink. You buy another drink, Vinny buys you another drink."
Everyone agrees that sounds like a great bar.
Then the Irishman says, "You think that's great? Where I come from in Dublin, there's this place called Murphy's. At Murphy's, they buy you your first drink, they buy you your second drink, they buy you your third drink, and then, they take you in the back and get you laid!"
"Wow!" say the other two. "That's fantastic! Did that actually happen to you?"
"No," replies the Irish guy, "but it happened to me sister!"

The B Word

The only B word you should call a woman is beautiful
Because bitches love it when you call them beautiful

7 Kinds of Passionate Women

The seven kinds of passionate women
1.The Optimist - "Yes! Yes! Yes!"
2.The Pessimist - "No! No! No!"
3.The Confused - "Yes! No! Yes! No! Yes! Yes! No! No!"
4.The Asthmatic - written rendition of gasping
5.The Sprinter - "Faster! Agh! Faster! Faster!"
6.The Religious - "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!
7.The Mathematician - "More! More! More! More!