Tunnel Vision

A radical feminist is getting on a bus when, just in front of her, a man gets up from his seat.  She thinks to herself, "Here's another man trying to keep up the customs of a patriarchal society by offering a poor, defenseless woman his seat," and she pushes him back onto the seat.
A few minutes later, the man tries to get up again. She is insulted again and refuses to let him up.
Finally, the man says, "Look, lady, you've got to let me get up. I'm two miles past my stop already!"

No Coffee

My dad once told me that if a woman offers you coffee, she means sex.
Now i'm banned from Starbucks.

Want a Bag?

A guy goes to the store to buy condoms. "Do you want a bag?" the cashier asks. "No," the guy says, "she's not that ugly."