Defamation of character

A man was sued by a woman for defamation of character.  She charged that he had called her a pig. The man was found guilty and fined.  After the trial he asked the judge, "Does this mean that I cannot call Mrs. Johnson a pig?".  The judge said that was true. "Does this mean I cannot call a pig, 'Mrs. Johnson'?", the man asked. The judge replied that he could indeed call a pig 'Mrs. Johnson' with no fear of legal action.  The man looked directly at Mrs. Johnson and said, "Good afternoon, Mrs. Johnson!".

Womens Monthly Pain

Q: Why do you call a womens monthly pain a period?
A: Because Mad Cow Disease was taken.

Two-story house

Two-story house:
A man appears before a judge one day, asking for a divorce. The judge quietly reviews some papers and then says, "Please tell me why you are seeking a divorce." "Because," the man says, "I live in a two-story house." The Judge replies, "What kind of a reason is that? What is the big deal about a two story house?" The man answers, "Well Judge, one story is 'I have a headache' and the other story is 'It's that time of the month.'