Horse Smart

Q: Why do women have one more brain cell than a horse?
A: For managing not to drink the water from the bucket while she sweeps the floor.

Stolen Car

A man walks out of a bar, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him, and approaches, "Can I help you, sir?" "Yesssh! Sssshomebody ssshtole my car!"  the man replies. The cop asks, "Where was your car the last time you saw it?" "It wasssh at the end of thisssh key!"  the man replies, logically, if a bit too literally. About this time the cop looks down to see that the man's member is being exhibited for all the world to see. He asks the man, "Sir, are you aware that you are exposing yourself?" The man looks down woefully and without missing a beat, moans "OHHH GOD . . . they got my girlfriend too!!!"

Woman With Lost Intelligence

Q: What do you call a woman that has lost 95% of her intelligence?
A: Divorced