Sex Operation!

A man walks into a bar and sits next to a beautiful lady. "May I buy you a drink?" the man asks the lady. "Sure, but one thing I have to confess before you get intimate is that I was once a man," she responds. "Whoa! I would have never known if you hadn't told me," the man says shocked, "Well what was the worst part of the operation? Was it when they sewed on those gahoonas?" "No," she says calmly. "What about when they cut off your.." "No," she says hesitantly. "Well what was the worst part of the operation?" the man asks. "Well, the worst part has to be when they removed half of my brain!"

Seminars for a woman

SEMINARS FOR WOMEN In response to the seminar offerings by the female staff, the male staff has created a set of courses for females of all marital status. The following courses will be offered: 

• General Education: GE101: Why the Toilet Seat Has Hinges
• GE102: Checkbook Balancing (formerly "Remedial Third Grade Arithmetic")
• GE103: How to Drive a Nail Without Breaking One
• GE104: How to Parallel Park
• GE105: Why Going to the Bathroom is Not a Group Activity
• GE106: Road Maps and Other Crutches for Spineless Wimps
• GE107: Why a Bad Sports Telecast is Better Than a Good Soap Opera
• Home Economics: HE101a: Over-Laundering - Why Clothing Wears Out Premature
• HE101b: Over-Vacuuming - Why Carpets Wear Out Prematurely
• HE101c: Over-Dusting - Why Furniture Wears Out Prematurely
• HE101d: Over-Washing - Why Dishes Wear Out Prematurely
• HE102: How to Avoid Spending Money You Don't Have (formerly "How to Cut Credit Cards in Half")
• HE103: Overcoming "The Imelda Syndrome" (formerly called "How Many Feet Do You Have, Anyway?")
• Interpersonal Relationships: IR101: How to Say "No" With Kindness and Appreciation
• IR102: Why Men Enjoy Grocery Shopping About As Much As Women Enjoy Watching Roller Derby
• IR103: Submission - a Biblical Perspective (prereq: SE101a or b)
• IR104: Marriage - The Number One Cause of Divorce
• IR105: Preposterous Mood Swings (PMS) (formerly "Keeping Your Personal Problems from Ruining Everyone Else's Life Too")
• IR106: Understanding Men's Revulsion to Tampon Commercials (formerly called "We Know What That Little 'Plastic Applicator' is REALLY For!")

Never Argue with a Woman

A couple go on holiday to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read.
One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book.
Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading a book," she replies, thinking it was obvious.
"You're in a restricted fishing area" he informs her.
"I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I am reading" she replies.
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. I'll have to take you in and write you up'' the warden says.
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault" says the woman.
"But I haven't even touched you!" exclaims the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment."