Jay Leno Jokes!

Jay Leno Jokes from the Tonight Show...

• Pharmaceutical companies that make birth control pills are telling teenage girls that taking the pill can help clear up their skin. Do you think that's true? I think there is a better chance of clearing up the boyfriend's skin.
• Fashion experts say that President Bush is helping bring back cowboy boots and cowboy hats. See, so it is not just for male strippers anymore.
• LeAnn Rimes apologized to fans for the quality of her new album. Isn't that unbelievable? If LeAnn Rimes has to apologize for her album, what the heck is Kathie Lee going to do, commit suicide?
• In an interview with Vanity Fair magazine, Hugh Hefner admitted having 7 girlfriends, one for each night of the week... Someone should tell him those are called nurses. He said they all have sex together in the same bed. He said Viagra makes it possible, I think money makes it possible!
• Surgeons in Britain amputated the hand of the world's first hand transplant patient because the guy requested it, after his body rejected it. How depressing is that? It's bad enough getting rejected by women, but guys, when your own hand turns you down?
• According to a new government report, the military is running out of bullets. We are running out of ammunition! Oh good, let's tell our enemies. That's what I love about our country, you can't tell your sexual preference in the Navy, but you can tell our enemies we're running out of ammunition. "We don't have any bullets, and I can't tell you if I'm gay."

Female Viagra

Q: What is the female Viagra?
A: Jewelry.

Nursing Home Tricks

A man goes to the nursing home to visit his 84-year-old father. While there he notices the nurse give his father hot chocolate and Viagra. The man asks, "Why are you doing that? I mean, at his age what will it do for him?" The nurse explains, "The hot chocolate will help him sleep." The man asks, "And the Viagra?" "Keeps him from falling out of bed."