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Sex Jokes - Private Parts
What Size Fits?
A man strolls into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some condoms. She asks, ''What size please?'' ''Good question," he replies, " I'm not sure," ''Tell ya what. Right outside, there's a fence with three holes in it, stick your dick in the holes and tell me which one it fits in,'' suggests the lady. So he takes her advice, goes outside and puts his dick in the first hole. A woman walks past, see's his dick and starts feeling it. The man thinks, ''Hey, this ain't too bad.'' Then he puts his dick in the second hole, another woman walks by, and gives him a blow job. At this point, he is literally blown away. He quickly shoves his dick in the last hole, and yet another woman walks by, and she starts to shag him. After they are done rocking, he high-steps it back inside and goes to the counter. The assistant asks ''What size then?'' "Forget the condoms," says the man, "how much for the fence?"
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Wear Under a Kilt
A young lady asked the Scotsman what he wore under his kilt. "Reach up there and find out." She did, but quickly pulled her hand back out and said, "Oh, it's gruesome!" "Aye, it has," replied the Scotsman, "and if you put your hand backup there, it'll grow some more!"
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Penal Enlargement Announcement
I was actually thinking about getting penal enlargement surgery -- thought I'd share that with everybody. But the surgery is dangerous, and it's really expensive. But I found this great, safe alternative to penal enlargement surgery: the metric system.
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