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Sex Jokes
A Collar Is Necessary
A little old lady buys a pair of parrots, but cannot identify their sexes. She calls the shop, and the man there advises her to watch them carefully and all would become clear in time. She spends weeks staring at the cage and eventually catches them doing what comes naturally. To make sure she doesn't get them mixed up again, she cuts out a ring from a piece of cardboard and puts it round the male parrot's neck. A while later, the local priest visits the old lady. The male parrot takes one look at the father's collar, wolf whistles, and says, "I see she caught you at it, too."
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Why It's Called Sex
Q: Do you know why it's called sex?
A: Because it's easier to spell than Uhhh..oohh...Ahhhh....AIIEEEE!!!
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The Golfers
One of the regular foursome was sick, so a new member named George filled in. He was very good and pleasant company so they asked him to join them again the following Sunday. "9.30 okay?" George said, "Fine, but I may be about ten minutes late. Wait for me."The following Sunday George showed up right on time. Not only that he played left-handed and beat them.They agreed to meet the following Sunday at 9.30. George again said, "Okay, but I may be about ten minutes late. Wait for me." The next Sunday there was George, punctual to the dot. This time he played right-handed and beat them again. "Okay, for 9.30 next Sunday?" one of the foursome asked. George said, "Sure if I’m ten minutes late…" Another golfer jumped in. "Wait a minute… You always say you may be ten minutes late. But you’re always right on time and you beat us whether you play right or left handed." George said, "Well, that’s true – I’m superstitious. If I wake up and my wife is sleeping on her right side, I play right-handed. If she’s sleeping on her left side, I play left-handed." "What if she’s lying on her back?" George said, "That’s when I’m ten minutes late!"
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