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Sex Jokes
Cajun Virgin
In the middle of his honeymoon, the young hillbilly bridegroom left his bride back at the hotel and shows up at his parents house completely distraught. His father asks him, "Son, why you not with you bride on you honeymoon?". The boy replies, "Daddy I was jus' gettin ready to love my bride when she tell me she want me to know she a virgin. So I come to ask what do I do?". The father says, "Boy don' be tellin me you don' know what do wid a womin, specially a virgin." The boy says, "Daddy, course I knows what to do wid a woman, but dis be ma wife." The father replies, "So what difference dis make?" To which the son says, "Well daddy, I jus got to figure if she ain't good nuff for her own family she shore ain't good enough for ours!"
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Lite Beer & Canoes
Q: How can you compare a lite beer to making love in a canoe?
A: They're both fucking close to water!
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Sex in a Marriage
There are four kinds of sex involved in a marriage.
The first is Smurf Sex... This happens during the honeymoon; you both keep doing it until you're blue in the face.
The second is Kitchen Sex... This is at the beginning of the marriage; you'll have sex anywhere, anytime. Hence, also in the kitchen.
The third kind is Bedroom Sex... You've calmed down a bit, perhaps have kids, so you gotta do it in the bedroom.
The fourth kind is Hallway Sex... This is where you pass each other in the hallway and say, "Fuck you!"
There is also a fifth kind of sex: Courtroom Sex... This is when you get divorced and your wife fucks you in front of everyone in court!
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