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Sex Jokes
Price for Food
Three drifters are roaming the countryside for some time. They come upon a small farmhouse with crops planted around it. They are very hungry, thirsty, and tired so the first guy suggests they steal some food. The second says they should ask for food, so he then goes up and knocks on the door and an old, ugly lady answers. He asks for food and she agrees - but only under one condition. They must have sex with her. The first drifter says no, the lady is too ugly, and goes back into the woods. The third guy is very hungry and agrees. He enters the cottage and goes into a corner near a pile of corn to transact his business with the old lady. The old lady is ready, but the guy says he'll only do it if she's blindfolded. So she puts on a blindfold and bends over. Quickly the guy grabs an ear of corn and sticks it inside the old lady, then throws it out the window. The woman says, "Again," and the man does the same thing. Satisfied, she gives the man some food and he leaves. As he is walking out of the farmhouse, he comes upon the other two guys. "Guess what?" the first guy says, "while you screwed that old hag we found two ears of cream corn!"
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Ring Ring
*ring* *ring* "Hello?" Hearing only heavy breathing on the line, the woman repeated, "Hello?" "I'll bet you want me to come into your bedroom," a male voice whispered huskily, "...undress you, lick you from head to toe and make love to you until morning." "Geez," the woman replied, "you can tell all that from two hello's?"
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Class Reunion
A guy goes to his high school class reunion. Having not seen anyone in twenty-five years he's very curious as to who might show up. When he gets there, he runs into his old high school sweetheart. They sit down and talk about the past. "How have you been?" he asks. "I've been fine, just fine," she replies, "Although I do have some good news and a little bad news, though." "Bad news first, please." "Well, a few weeks ago I had to have a hysterectomy." "Oh my, that's too bad. I'm sorry to hear that." "But the good news is the doctor found your old high school class ring you thought you lost!"
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