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Sex Jokes
Bill Clinton's Song
Bill's Song: This should be sung to the tune "A Few of My Favorite Things" from the movie "The Sound of Music"
The Bill Clinton version: My Favorite Things Blow jobs and land deals in backwater places, Big Macs and french fries and girls with big faces, Lots of nice cleavage that makes willie spring, These are a few of my favorite things. Susan McDougal and Gennifer Flowers, Horny young interns who while 'way the hours, Profits from futures that Hillary brings, These are a few of my favorite things. When that Jones bites, When Ken Starr stings, When I'm feeling sad, I simply remember my favorite things, And then I don't feel so bad. Beating the draft board and getting elected, Naming to judgeships some hacks I've selected, Conspiracy theories that blame the right wing, These are a few of my favorite things. Golfing with Vernon and suborning perjury, Falling down drunk that required knee surgery Stars in the White House who come here to sing, These are a few of my favorite things. Meeting with Boris and Helmut and Tony, States of the Union with lots of baloney, Winning debates and the joy of my flings, These are a few of my favorite things.
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Arkansas Driver's Ed Sex Ed
Q: Why don't they teach driver's education and sex education in the same day in Arkansas?
A: It's too hard on the mules.
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New Girl
An 85 year old man, who has been a single widower for 30 years, gets engaged to a 27 year old girl. He goes to his doctor for a Viagra prescription in preparation for his wedding night. The doctor tells him, " I need to warn you that given the length of time that you have been abstinent and the potency of this drug, sex could prove to be fatal."
The old man says "Doc, if she dies, she dies."
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