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Sex Jokes
80 Years Old
An elderly man goes into confession and says to the priest, "Father, I'm 80 years old, married, have four kids and 11 grandchildren. I started taking this new Viagra pill, and last night I had an affair and made love to two 18-year-old girls. Both of them. Twice."
The priest said, "Well, my son, when was the last time you were in confession?"
"Never Father, I'm Jewish."
"So then, why are you telling me?"
"Because I'm telling everybody!"
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Shouting During Sex
Two friends in a Bar: JACK: Joe, at what moment does your wife shout loudest during sex? JOE: Er..., when I clean myself off with the curtains.
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Love Handles
One day as Monica Lewinsky was walking along the beach awaiting her Senate trial testimony, she came upon an ornate bottle that had washed up on shore. Curious, she picked it up, brushed off the sand, and lo and behold a genie popped out."Greetings, Miss Lewinsky," the genie said. "Since you have released me, I will grant you one wish." "Well," Monica replied, "I'm going to be on television a lot for a while, and I want to look my best. I wish you would get rid of these love handles." "Your wish is my command," said the genie. A wave of his hands, a puff of smoke...and her ears promptly fell off.
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