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Sex Jokes
Definition of Kinky Sex
I'm not saying that my wife was naive when we got married, but she thought "kinky sex" involved her wearing hair curlers to bed.
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40 Years of Sex Life
It seems that when God was making the world, he called man over and bestowed upon him twenty years of normal sex life. Man was horrified. "Only twenty years of normal sex life?" But the Lord was very adamant that was all man could have. Then the Lord called the monkey and gave him twenty years. "But I don't need twenty years", he protested. "Ten is plenty for me." Man spoke up eagerly, "Can I have the other ten?". The monkey graciously agreed.
Then the Lord called the lion and gave him twenty years and the lion, like the monkey, wanted only ten. Again the man spoke up, "Can I have the other ten?" The lion said of course he could. Then came the donkey and he was given twenty years. But like the others, ten was sufficient and again man pleaded, "Can I have the other ten?".
This explains why man has twenty years of normal sex life, plus ten years of monkeying around, ten years of lion about it, and ten years of making an ass of himself.
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Grandpa's Safe Sex
A teenage boy and his grandfather go fishing one day. While fishing, the old man starts talking about how times have changed. The young man picks up on this and starts talking about the various problems and diseases going around. Teen says, "Grandpa, they didn't have a whole lot of problems with all these diseases when you were young did they?" Grandpa replies, "Nope." Teen says, "Well, what did you guys use for safe sex?" Grandpa replies, "A wedding ring."
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