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Sex Jokes - Oral Sex Jokes
Patenting A Peach
A farmer goes to the patent office to patent a peach, and the patent officer says "you can't patent a peach, the peach has already been patented!" And the farmer says,
"Oh no. Not THIS kind of peach. Go ahead, try it!" So the patent officer takes a bite, and says
"oh, wow! This is so good! It tastes like- blackberry pie!" And the farmer says
"Yeah, and Do you like vanilla ice cream? Well then you gotta flip it over & try the other side". So the patent officer does and he's like
"Man! that really does taste like vanilla ice cream! I can't believe it!" So then the farmer looks around a bit and lowers his voice almost to a whisper, and says:
"Psst! Have you ever tasted pussy?"
"Oh yeah, I've eaten plenty of pussy!"
"And you like it, right?"
"Yeah I LOVE the taste of pussy" says the patent officer, starting to get excited.The farmer says,
"OK, then take a bite, right there" So the patent officer takes this HUGE bite, and then his eyes widen & he spits it out all over the place.
"Oh, Yuck! That tasted like SHIT!" & the farmer says
"shoot,...I'm sorry- flip it over & try the other side!"
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Monica Testifying
Q: How did we know that Monica would testify?
A: Because she has a history of not being able to keep her mouth closed.
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The Birds And The Bees Explained
A young teenager comes home from school and asks her mother, "Is it true what Rita just told me? That babies come out of the same place where boys put their thingies?" "Yes, dear," replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and she wouldn't have to explain it. "But then when I have a baby, won't it knock my teeth out?"
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