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Sex Jokes - Masturbation Jokes
Knickerless
Joe is sitting on a train across from a busty blonde wearing a tiny mini skirt. Despite his efforts, he is unable to stop staring at the top of her thighs. To his delight, he realizes she has gone without underwear. The blonde realizes he is staring and inquires, "Are you looking at my pussy?" "Yes, I'm sorry," says Joe and promises to avert his eyes. "It's quite alright," replies the woman, "It's very talented, watch this, I'll make it blow a kiss to you." Sure enough the pussy blows him a kiss. Joe, who is completely absorbed, inquires what else the wonder pussy can do. "I can also make it wink," says the woman. Joe stares in amazement as the pussy winks at him. "Come and sit next to me," suggests the woman, patting the seat. Joe moves over and is asked, "Would you like to stick a couple of fingers in?" Stunned, Joe replies, "Good grief! Can it whistle, too?"
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Andy's Mom
Q: What does Andy's mom call her favorite toys?
A: Woody and Buzz
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Court Rules
A young man is in court. He's driving everyone mad with his loud and incessant chewing. The judge looks over and says "For the love of God man would you stop masticating"
To which he replies in a panicked voice "I wasn't, I wasn't, I swear, I just had my hands in my pockets"
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